Story of my life part 1

From the start of my relationship i was not honest about where i came from,what i wanted out of a relationship.I wasnt a man born of saying alot,im a guy of few words like  my father.Never knew the outcome of being my father will lead me to this path where i would face this.I despised my father so much the day i came to be beaten by him for no reason.My life turned out to hate him so much for what he did to him,that day i bonded with my mother more than before.The reason why im writing this is i blame him for who i grown up to be and at the same time i forgave him for that day.It pains me so much it makes me realize i forgave him to late.He tried to bring out the man in me but with my ignorance and attitude towards him was so boiling to the point of no return.Many people ask me why i dont write like Sidney Sheldon and i would always say i dont match him.This has brought so much much pain in my life,of hich i blame my self.